Frequently our conversations can into difficult conversations, frustrating, resentment and time and effort wasting.
There are many conversational tools we can become skilful at. Let’s look at our top 5:
TIP ONE: Shift to understanding and learning
In conversation, it can be challenging not to try to convince the other person to adopt our point of view. We ALWAYS have to see things from anothers’ perspective in order to communicate well. If we see a conversation about understanding and learning about another person, we can make space to take in their viewpoint. Each person will feel like the conversation is mutually an investment in time/ a partnership and not an opposition.
TIP TWO: No Assuming
When our opinion or our ego feels threatened, we like to guess what we believe the other to be thinking. The assumptions we make reveal a lot about what WE are thinking rather than the person we are communicating with. Assuming really does prevent us from really understanding the meaning to the challenge and being able to effectively come up with solutions. Drop the ego.
TIP THREE: Work together to problem solve
Not everyone can handle feedback with grace, and when we don’t, we don’t learn from the feedback. Have you heard of something called Feed Forward? Rather than tell the other what you hope can be a solution, ask them for suggestions. Our brain likes to perservere and protect our self-image, when there is a perception of working ‘together’, no-one feels targeted.
TIP FOUR: Be Friends with Silence
Sometimes, you may find yourself in a moment of silence in a conversation and all too often we rush to fill in the gap. Silence can very much be golden, allowing the words to be processed and calmly responded to.
TIP FIVE: Learn how to Handle Difficult Conversations
There are a myraid of excellent books produced on this topic, conflict is inevitable in the workplace with so many creative people and people wanting to share their ideas. Be open to reading, learning and observing how others deal with these type of challenges. Also think about how more knowledge on the art of challenging conversations can have on you, your team and your organization. Check out our Difficult Conversations Program fill the gap!